Editors Note: Livin’ the Vermont Way Magazine is happy to be adding a new column “A Day In The Life” by Walter Jeffries. As a small farmer working hard to get by in Vermont, Jeffries brings a perspective we think Livin’ readers will appreciate.

Hi Walter,

My name is Meghan M. and I am a Casting Producer for the ABC Television show, Wife Swap. In case you are not familiar with the show, the premise of Wife Swap is simple: for two weeks, two wives from two different families exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover what it’s like to live a different woman’s life. The show airs on ABC on Monday nights at 8:00 pm – family hour! It offers a positive experience for people not only to teach, but to learn about different family values.

I am contacting you because I am interested in casting a home schooling family on the show that feels strongly about the importance of family time. We have explored this avenue on the show in the past, and I have found that the families who home school their children tend to raise them in a very loving environment where family is a priority. I believe that those values are not as common as they should be, and that a close-knit home schooling family with strong morals and values would have a lot to teach another family if they appeared on the show.

While $20,000 is a lot of money, especially for a hard working pig farmer, Sugar Mountain Farm would hold a lot of hazards for a city woman who wasn’t familiar with the operation, or knew how to handle an 800 pound boar. Photo Courtesy of Walter Jeffries.

I came across your website, and I was wondering if you might be interested in applying for the show. I think it is wonderful that you are able to spend time with your children both through home schooling and working on the farm! I was also curious as to if you know of any other home schooling families who might be a good fit for the show. Families who participate in the show receive $20,000, and if you refer a family that appears on the show, you will receive a $1,000 finder’s fee.

Best, Meghan

Meghan M. | Casting Producer | ABC Television - Wife Swap

Dear Meghan,

Mighty kind of you to think of us. I have given your offer careful consideration however, there are some problems:

1. I don’t watch TV so I’m not quite sure what “Wife Swap” is.

2. We don’t have a TV—haven’t for 30 years. Kinda the same problem as the first one there but it also means I can’t readily find out what the show is.

3. I have serious doubts that a fine lady from a city family would survive being dropped into our life, physically or emotionally. Life on the farm is good but it is also hard work chain-sawing, wood splitting, cement toting, rock wall building, doing construction, tending livestock, fencing, cooking from scratch, putting up the harvest and a whole lot more that will break nails if you have ‘em. Pardon the stereotype.

4. I fear we’re a mite too busy with life to wife swap. We get up early, work late and still some how there just aren’t enough hours in the day. You probably have the same problem in the city—those to-do lists are never ending.

5. Right now we’re new building a house by ourselves—we have to get done a certain amount before snow flies and the ground turns like iron. We’re building with granite and cement which is heavy stuff and requires a certain amount of skill to work with as well as muscle to tote and that takes time to build up. See #3.

6. We have to get the harvest in. Once in it needs to be canned, dried, blanched and stored away. I’ll soon be slaughtering our winter meat and my wife helps with that. We need to make about 250 quarts of soup which we’ll pressure can. We produce most of our own food. If we miss that time frame or make errors we have lost the year or worse. It takes years to learn to do these things so I would need a bit more than two weeks to break in a new wife.

7. We have to take care of our livestock daily. I can’t risk an innocent woman from the city dropping in and making a simple mistake through no fault of her own inexperience that could kill or injure animals, or get her hurt. No offense intended, but you need to know which end of a pig might bite, how to keep your feet from getting stepped on by an 800 pound boar, and know what they need every day. Speaking of biting, we have six large guardian livestock dogs. If you’ve seen my Sugar Mountain Farm blog then you may have read about them. They’re friendly with family but don’t have much exposure to strangers. They would have a hard time with a new wife never mind a film crew. To do their jobs the dogs must be free roaming so I can’t tie them up while you’re here.

8. Imagine Ms. Drysdale going to live in Tenessee with the Clampetts at their original homestead. I realize that may be what you’re after… Our part of Vermont is kind of like the Blue Ridge mountains—it looks a lot like the old pictures of the Appalachians. Beautiful country but a long ways from the amenities that city folk are used to having around. We just did our fall shopping—five grocery carts of store bought staples we can’t produce here. That means we may not be going into town for weeks, maybe even a couple of months. I’ve heard city friends say that would drive them plum crazy.

9. $20,000 is a right lot of money, close to as much as I earn in a year, more than I make some years, but two weeks out of our life is lost forever. See above.

10. And most importantly of all, I love my wife too much to swap her, even on a temporary basis. (My wife just hollered out in the background that “Hey, Walter, if I can earn $20,000 in two weeks…!”)

I do hope that you are able to find families to do your show. Homeschooling and rural farm life are wonderful things that the American people need to reconnect with. I wish our country could find its agrarian roots. To help you out I have BCCed this to some people who might be able to help you. Should one of them do your show, please consider it a referral as I sure could use the money.

Cheers, Walter Jeffries

Walter Jeffries raises certified naturally grown pigs, sheep, poultry and kids on pasture in the mountains of Vermont. Visit his blog at http://SugarMtnFarm.com for more stories from a small farm.